When was the last time you were booed?  Maybe it was a cutting remark from a co-worker.  Maybe it was the snarky attitude of your teenager.  Maybe it was the anonymous critic who sent a scathing email or posted a derogatory comment about you.

I only saw about 30 minutes of Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards, but I watched enough to see Justin Beiber receive the Milestone Award.  I’m not a “belieber” as some of his fans describe themselves, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for Justin as the room booed him when he took the stage.

I’m aware that Justin has allegedly done some stupid things lately.  He’s 19.  I’m pretty sure I did some stupid things at that age too and I’m certainly grateful I didn’t have a world’s stage for them to be showcased in front of.

As Beiber tried to find the words to say in that moment, I understood a smidge of his pain.  No one likes to be booed.  I don’t care who you are or how much you’ve accomplished.  There is still a sensitive, fragile heart in there that is screaming to be accepted, loved, forgiven and extended grace. 

We need good feedback in our lives.  We need honest friends who will speak truth when we need it, but we don’t need boos from the crowd. 

Don’t be a booer.

Speak truth, love, hope and grace to the people in your circle of influence!

A recent episode of Parenthood featured the storyline of Max Braverman and his attempts to get a vending machine back into his school.  This initiative was the driving agenda for his recent election as Student Body President and he was prepared to battle the well-intentioned PTA members who had lobbied for the vending machine to be removed.  Confident that he could make this happen, Max is defeated and extraordinarily frustrated when his request is denied.

Feeling her son’s disappointment, Max’s mom goes to work to help him (unbeknownst to Max).  She studies the issue and pitches the PTA on the idea of bringing the machine back but with healthy snack options.  A win-win for everyone.

Max arrives one day at school to a crowd of cheering classmates surrounding the new vending machine.

Max erupts with joy exclaiming “I did it!  I did it!”

Max’s joy in that moment is contagious.  He truly believes he accomplished this great feat, completely unaware of how his mom was working behind the scenes.

I just couldn’t help but imagine that this is what most of our life looks like.

We find so many joy in our accomplishments without recognizing who is at work behind the scenes.

I suspect God beams with pride and joy as he watches us enjoy the successes we experience.

This too, is a picture of leadership.  As leaders, we need to be willing to be behind the scenes, doing the leg work that allows others to shine.

“Who in your life needs a little boost from you so that they can exclaim “I did it!  I did it! ?

It must have weighed as much as I did.  This hazy grey, metal box that guarded my deepest treasures.  I’d convinced some poor unsuspecting family member to lug this beast from the cobwebby corners of my Nanny’s basement to it’s new hidden home in the back of my closet.  Complete with lock and key, my strong inanimate friend would become an accomplice in guarding some of my most sacred dreams.

I wrote my first book when I was in third grade.  I remember it vividly and yet can’t remember anything about the story.  I remember carefully stacking my collection of wide-ruled notebook pages covered with my simple but deliberate cursive scrawlings neatly in that grey metal file cabinet.

The file cabinet was my life-saver.  My book was my sacred creation. 

When I could escape for a few moments of quiet, I would gingerly pull out my pages and draft a few sentences and get lost in another element of my story.  I was confident it would be a best-seller rivaling my favorites – Anne of Green Gables and Little House on the Prairie.

I have no idea where my first book is today.  It was probably left tucked in a box in an attic many years ago.

Although the content may be lost, I haven’t lost the magic that you feel when you sit down to craft an idea brewing in your heart.

Somehow over the years, I forgot about this childhood dream of writing.  I guess responsibilities, “real” jobs and the rat race of life took over.  That is until a couple of years ago when my friends at Leadership Network suggested that my dear friend Sherry Surratt and I needed to write a book – a book for women leaders.

We agreed the subject matter needed some attention, but I wasn’t so confident I was the girl for the job.

Then I remembered the grey box and the wide-ruled pages and the longings of a little heart a long, long time ago.  A dream had come full circle and I needed to seize it!

Just Lead!: A No Whining, No Complaining, No Nonsense Practical Guide for Women Leaders in the Church

is now available.  And I couldn’t be more excited!

If you’re a women in leadership or you have a women leader in your life, I hope you’ll check it out.  This book is an extension of mine and Sherry’s hearts.  If we could sit down over a cup of tea or coffee, these are the words that we would share with you.  We’d talk about the loneliness of leadership, the insecurity, fear and indecision we’ve repeatedly faced, the challenges we’ve confronted in leading ourselves, leading men and leading other women.

We hope that as you read, you hear the voices of two friends who understand and relate and are cheering you on to Just Lead!

Oh, Valentine’s Day you kinda STRESS ME OUT!

What can be an incubator of unmet expectations…

can also be a day to love extravagantly and unconditionally.

You choose!

I was recently writing about the sin of comparison and how much destruction it does to our hearts.

Of course I’ve compared nearly everything about me to someone else at some point in my life, but it seems that our greatest catalyst for comparison these days is social media.

Social media has taken our comparison and competition to a whole new level.  Not only are we comparing ourselves to the people in our direct sphere of influence but now we have a tool by which we can compare ourselves with everyone around the world!

It’s our newest vice and most alluring distraction.

But I think it’s time to change the game. 

Rather than use social media for comparison, we ought to be using it for championing others.

When you find yourself caught up in comparison and a self-inflicted pity-party while engaging social media, either turn it off or change the game.

Change the game by engaging social media for the purpose of championing what others are doing and encouraging them.  Make social media about them instead of about you.

“Hate the game, not the player”

or

Change the game, don’t let the game change you!

 

2013

What will you do with it?

How will you steward it?

How will you lead through it?

The New Year naturally builds momentum.  Everyone has at least some degree of expectancy and hope for the year ahead.  As a leader, this is a huge opportunity for you to steward!  Lead your team through some conversations that channel that energy to set shared goals and dream audacious dreams together.

Today as our team gathers for our first day back in the office we’ll take some time to focus on four simple things:

1 Hope

1 Dream

1 Fear

1 Priority

I’ll ask each of my team members to share 1 Hope, 1 Dream, 1 Fear and 1 Priority they have for Cross Point in 2013.  We’ll use their responses as a launching pad for conversation to guide our leadership.

I can not wait to see what the year holds!

How do you and your team plan for the New Year? 

Merry Christmas!

I promise he’s a lot jollier than he appears! 

Praying you all have a wonderful Christmas season with your families.

I’ll be taking a blog break until January 2nd.  See you then!

THIS GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED:   Congrats to @Lailaw who was the randomly selected winner!

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I have one more great new Christmas album to share with you this season!

Josh Wilson just released his Christmas album “Noel” and is out on his Christmas tour right now.  You can check dates here to see if he’s coming to your city.

Great diverse instrumentation, fun arrangements, perfect guest vocals, a lot of festive cheer and moments that mark the significance of the season…

It’s another great one to check out this season!

I’m told there are over 18 different instruments featured on this album!

Share with us in the comments what your favorite instrument is and you’ll be entered to win a copy! 

**Winner will be randomly selected Monday 12/10.

THIS GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED: Congrats to @brianfalexander who was randomly selected as the winner!

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Because it’s now officially the Christmas season… and because I love giving gifts… and because I have great friends at awesome record labels… I have Christmas music to giveaway!

This week I have a copy of Jeremy Camp‘s “Christmas: God With Us”.

I’ve been listening to this album for nearly two weeks already and I love it!  “Jingle Bell Rock” is a great opener and perfect fit for Jeremy’s style.  Other favorites are his arrangements of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and “O Come, O Come Emmanuel”.

To be entered to win, tell us what your all-favorite Christmas carol/song is.

**Winner will be randomly selected Monday 12/3

 

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I’ve had a fabulous few days with family including my amazing one year old niece.  She is just so much fun!

As I’ve reflected on Thanksgiving this year, I’m reminded of the importance of how we as leaders create a culture of thanksgiving.

Leaders lead others towards an attitude of thankfulness. 

It’s another difficult tensions that many leaders face.  In our drive and intentionality towards progress, it’s easy to gloss over moments to be thankful.  We are naturally wired to see what is yet to come and subconsciously become impatient with the idea of slowing down enough to celebrate and say thanks.

This tension doesn’t change in good times or bad.  If you’re in a thriving season, you are afraid to pause to give thanks for fear you’ll lose momentum.  If you’re in a bad season, you don’t feel like you have time to give thanks because you’re working so diligently to turn things around.

I was fascinated by a post that one of my former bosses wrote about how Abraham Lincoln created the national holiday of Thanksgiving during the middle of the Civil War.  In a time where no one likely felt thankful for their circumstances, President Lincoln understood the importance of leading others towards finding a way to be thankful.

Darlene had this to say about why President Lincoln may have instituted this National Holiday during such a terrible time:

“Yet I think he did it for this reason.  In the most difficult and divisive of times focusing on what we have to be thankful for completely changes our life view.  Not only does it make us remember the good things, the good times, it offers us hope.  Hope for today and hope for tomorrow.”

Whether you are in a good season or a tough season of leadership, how can you model a heart of thanksgiving?

Here are a couple of simple things that you could do:

1. Start every day by thanking one of your staff for doing a great job the day before.  It could be a quick email or even better in a hand written note.  It doesn’t have to be time consuming, but your kind, encouraging words will mean the world to them and you’ll be instilling a grateful attitude in your heart and theirs.  (Joel Manby talks about this in his book Love Works)
2. In your staff meeting, add a time where you and your staff take a few minutes to talk about what you’re thankful for personally or professionally.  This may be a little awkward at first, but lead through it.  When your staff realize you’re serious, they’ll begin to relax and find value in it.
3. Several times a year, create opportunities to more deliberately thank your core team.  Following major events, on their birthdays, at the holidays and in their performance reviews, make sure you are giving them specific feedback on how you’re thankful for them.

What are you doing to create a culture of thanksgiving with your team?