I know you are really busy…
This comment is made to me way too often.
What I hear in this phrase is “I’m sorry to bother you”, “Please give me just a minute”, “I’m scared to interrupt you”.
It breaks my heart. You know why? Because I’m responsible for it. There is a reason I appear too busy for others. Yes, I’m busy, but people should never feel like I’m too busy for them.
I believe that one of the fundamental laws of human nature is that we default to our comfort zones when we are under stress. My comfort zone is in retreating and achieving. I pull away and try to get stuff done because in accomplishment I feel valuable. I turn off relationships for the sake of getting my “to do” list covered.
I hate this about myself. It’s a daily battle for me, but so important because relationships have to be more important than task, especially for me to be effective as a leader.
What do you default to when you are under stress? Where does your influence/leadership/management get sabbotaged by your default mode?